What Am I Suppose To Do With These?

So, a few people have seen our adoption "pass-along" cards and have asked what to do with them.  In fact, I have a feeling some people think that we are asking them to go up to pregnant ladies and hand them a card, pretty much asking if we can have their baby.  This would be quite awkward. And, no, we are not asking that.  But, it is important that everyone we know knows that we are trying to adopt.  Why?  Because most domestic (inside the USA) adoptions are "open" these days. That means the birth-mother (and birth father) will choose us, will know who we are, will most likely meet us, will know our names, where we live, and have a relationship with us and our adopted child.  This last part is the most important part.  Our birth-mother will be a part of our family in a way that we both agree upon before the child is born.  Our child will always know their birth parent(s), and it will be very normal and natural for him/her to know his situation and how he came to be apart of our family.

Now, back to the cards.  A certain percentage of adoptions (I don't know how many) occur because "someone knows someone who knows someone" who is thinking about placing her child with an adoptive couple.  The person who knows both us and the lady who is pregnant would hand over the card and say, "Hey, I know you are not sure what your plan is for your child, but here is a website with many couples who are hoping to adopt.  Including the couple on this card.  If you would like, look them up or just look up the website to know more about adoption."  That's it.

Once a birth-mother looks at our site, she can contact us through email, or by contacting our agency.  She does not have to be LDS to work with our agency.

JD had a situation at a Continuing Education class that perfectly illustrates the use of the cards.  A fellow dentist he recognized but didn't know very well came up to him after the class and said, "Hey, I saw your wife's post on FB about your desire to adopt.  My sister-in-law is pregnant and isn't sure if she is going to parent the child herself or look into adoption." If JD, at that time, had a card on hand, he would hand over the card and allow the guy to give it to his sister-in-law if he felt that was appropriate.

Now, on the other hand, we may not find a birth-mother through the use of the cards.  She might walk into our agency, LDS Family Services, and meet with a caseworker and choose us by looking at our site, never having seen our pass-along card or talking to someone who knows us.

The jest of the cards is that we have been counseled by our caseworker and agency to work hard, show effort and we will be blessed.  The time will go by quicker knowing that we are not just "waiting" to be chosen, but are actively trying to make our dream a reality.  In fact, it's our destiny to become parents.  I really believe that....

If you haven't looked at our online adoption site, here it is:  Hoping to Adopt

t